Chapter 143 - Summons

Her entire body trembling, Cate sank back against the ladies’ room wall as she blinked furiously, ordering herself not to cry. Her heart was pounding in her chest and her knees felt weak. It had been all she could manage to walk calmly out of the banquet room. She had wanted to run, to flee before she fell apart in front of everybody.

Jon’s song destroyed her. It was so beautiful, so poignant. Cate flashed back to Tuesday night, when she lay safe in the strong circle of Jon’s arms and confessed her nightmare to him. “I’ll be your Superman, Baby. As long as you’ll let me.”

She remembered the feel of him holding her, the sound of his heartbeat under her ear, and the sense of peace and security she felt in his arms. Cate heard his lyrics again in her mind. “Don’t look back…. Let it go…”

God, she wanted to let go, to be with him. But how could it work? Their lives were just too different.

But Jon would be back in a few weeks. Maybe…

Cate shook her head angrily, raising a hand to wipe away a stray tear. No. She couldn’t let herself hope. She couldn’t lose herself again, trying to change reality into a perfect fantasy. Not even for her perfect fantasy man.

Cate pushed away from the wall and stepped over to the vanity, regarding her reflection in the mirror over the sink. She looked like a woman who was on the edge of breaking. She drew in a deep breath, then again shook her head.

She couldn’t go back to the luncheon. Everyone had seen Jon’s performance. She was positive his feelings for her had been revealed in his song, not just to her colleagues, but to everyone there.

Shit. What was she going to do now?

Cate stared at her reflection for another minute, considering. She felt her Blackberry buzz in its holster and automatically pulled it out. Looking at the screen she saw Danny’s text message.

[12:56p] U ok?

Cate shook her head, but responded in the affirmative.

[12:57p] Fine. Going back 2 office.

She slid the phone back into its holster, swallowing hard. She had to get it together. It wouldn’t be long until Jon would appear in her office doorway, wanting to know what she had thought of his song.

He would also want to know why she had fled. Cate knew she wouldn’t be able to lie to him. Jon had seen it in her eyes, how much she wanted him. Of that Cate was certain.

With a final glance at herself in the mirror Cate turned and headed for the door.

*****

Only decades of performance experience enabled Jon to wrap up his impromptu set without revealing his true emotions. He finished “Wanted” then said a few warm words of thanks and congratulations before strolling nonchalantly back to his table. He carefully packed his guitar in its case, his actions controlled and methodical.

But inside Jon was in turmoil. He wanted to bolt from the room, to go find Cate and drop to his knees and beg her not to end it. He needed to hear her say what he had seen in her eyes as he sang to her, that she needed him.

Straightening up, Jon turned toward his seat. His eyes swept to Cate’s chair beside his, her cloth luncheon napkin draped over the seat. His heart ached at its symbolic emptiness.

Fuck it, he thought, his expression turning stormy. He was done being patient, playing this game, waiting for all to be revealed. He was going to find Cate, to confess everything. He was going to plead with her to give up this life and be part of his.

“Jon.” Danny’s voice was quiet but commanding. Automatically Jon’s gaze turned to him. He saw Danny solemnly shaking his head as he read Jon’s mind. “Don’t.”

Jon pressed his lips together and his jaw tensed. Danny may be Cate’s best friend, but Jon was sick of his do-nothing advice. He couldn’t just stand back and wait for Cate’s answer. The clock had run out. He had made the grand gesture, poured out his heart in his song. Now he had to go to her.

Jon’s eyes narrowed as he frowned at Danny. “Why not?” he challenged, taking a step back from the table.

“Trust her,” Danny replied simply. He held Jon’s gaze, silently adding “If you love her.”

Jon stood staring at Danny for a long minute, his body tensed, ready to turn and stride for the door. But there was something about the calm assurance in Danny’s stare. Something that made Jon’s annoyance at his order dissipate.

Slowly Jon stepped back to the table and pulled out his chair. He sat and turned his attention back to the luncheon program, even though this mind was elsewhere.

*****

Cate sat at her desk, staring out the window as she unconsciously fingered the sterling cross around her neck. She had walked back to the office and gone straight to the locker room, changing out of her suit and into her usual uniform of khaki range pants and a navy polo. She felt more comfortable, more herself in those clothes. She needed to hang on to herself right now. It would be too easy to let go.

After dressing Cate had grabbed a Diet Coke from the break room and returned to her office, determined to bury herself in work. She had a class arriving on Monday, so there was plenty to be done. But it only took her a couple minutes to realize she couldn’t bring herself to start on the long list of tasks. Any minute Jon would be here, and she had no idea what she would say or do when she saw him.

Cate was pulled from her thoughts by a buzz from her office phone. She reached out to press the intercom button. “Yes?”

“Catie, you got a minute?” Floyd’s rumbly drawl was warm and kind, even over the speaker.

“Sure Boss,” Cate answered. Obviously the luncheon was over if Floyd was back. That meant Jon would be here soon, too. “Be right there.“

Cate needed to avoid Jon, at least a little longer. If she was going to fall apart she didn’t want to do it before she had to have a discussion with her Boss, even if he was her second father.

*****

Jon and Danny stepped through the back door of the Firearms Training Branch just in time to see the Center Director enter Floyd’s office. Jon sucked in a breath. “Cate,” he murmured. He looked at Danny. “I have to talk to her first, before she goes in there.”

“No.” Danny rebuked him firmly. “Dammit, Jon. You’ve already done enough!” Departing from his calm demeanor, Danny fixed Jon with an accusing stare. “That song? What the hell do you think that did to her?”

Jon’s stomach flipped. He stared silently back at Danny, unable to respond. His gaze dropped to the floor for a minute, then he looked at the closed door to Floyd’s office. “Then I’m going in there.”

“NO, you’re not.” Danny commanded bluntly.

“Yes, I AM,” Jon argued, his blue eyes sparking with challenge. “It’s my idea, my project. I have every fucking right to be in there.”

Danny stared right back at Jon. “The Hell you do. You have no authority here. Floyd is the Branch Chief, Paul is the Director. This is Center business. You are a VISITOR.” Danny snarled the word. “You aren’t stepping a foot inside that office.”

Jon blinked, taken aback by the force behind Danny’s command. He wanted to argue but he knew Danny was right. Just because this was his idea and he had pulled the strings to make it happen didn’t give him any standing in this world.

But he had to be in there when Cate came in. If he was there she would see how much he wanted this for them. If he was there she couldn’t say no.

Danny saw the stricken look flash across Jon’s features and his heart softened just a bit. Damn, he really does want this, he thought. And he’s willing to do anything he can think of to make it happen.

“Listen,” Danny said quietly. “You can’t be in there, and you can’t let Cate see you. Go in George’s office.” He pointed at the small room across the hall from Floyd's half-glass office door. “When she’s in there you can watch through the window.”

Jon considered Danny's recommendation for a moment, then nodded slowly. “Okay,” he agreed. He walked quickly to the office and pushed through the door, disappearing into the darkness of the windowless room.

“Jesus,” Danny breathed, rolling his eyes as he turned away. Jon was as damned high-strung as Cate. They belonged together.

Danny strode quickly up the hall. He needed to talk to Cate before she made it to Floyd’s office.

*****

Taking a deep breath, Cate stepped through her doorway and started down the hall. She was surprised to see Danny hurrying toward her.

“Slick!” Danny greeted her, his voice carrying a hint of anxiety. “Wait a minute.” He moved quickly toward her, their paths meeting in just a few long strides.

“Danny, I’m on my way to Floyd’s office. He needs to see me.” Cate slowed but didn’t stop as she moved toward the wall to go around Danny.

“I know — just wait a damned minute!” Danny exclaimed. He reached out and grasped Cate’s elbow, pulling her into Steve’s empty office. “I need to talk to you before you go in there."

Seeing his serious expression, Cate’s eyes widened slightly. “Danny, is everything okay?” she asked a bit breathlessly, worry creeping into her tone.

Danny nodded curtly. “Yeah, it’s fine. I just need to tell you something.” He gave Cate a direct look. “Listen, Cate... have I ever lied to you?”

“Yes,” Cate responded with a little snort.

Danny exhaled in exasperation. “I mean about anything important. Really important.” He stared at her, his jaw tensed.

Cate felt her pulse accelerate at the look on his face. “No.” she answered softly. “You haven’t.”

Danny took a deep breath. “Cate, listen to me. You’re a smart woman. Hell, you’re one of the smartest people I know. But sometimes you have to just not think, you know? Go with your gut.” His gaze locked with hers, urging her to understand. “Trust your heart.”

Cate felt her stomach flutter nervously. The intensity of Danny’s stare and the barely-controlled emotion in his voice was unnerving her. “What… why?” she whispered. “What’s going on? Do you know what Floyd wants to talk to me about?”

Danny ignored her question, not wanting to lie to her or reveal the truth. “Cate, sometimes you just have to jump off that ledge and trust that Superman’s gonna swoop down and catch you when you fall.” He paused. “Sometimes you have to take a leap of faith, Cate.”

Cate stared at wide-eyed at Danny, trying to understand what he was telling her. Danny pressed his lips together in a pained smile. He leaned forward and dropped a kiss on her forehead. “Now go,” he said, his voice suddenly husky. “Floyd’s waiting.”

With that he turned and strode out of the office, leaving Cate to stare after him.