Chapter 29 - Confession

Since Cate’s “plans” had been fictional, she decided to go to the gym for a workout. Exercise always cleared her head and helped her organize her thoughts.

She went for a short run on the treadmill, then spent a half hour doing boxing drills, working the speed bag and dummy. She finished up with some light weight training, then quickly showered and changed.

After packing up her workout bag, Cate pulled out her Blackberry and typed a brief text to Danny.

[6:38 pm] Slick – U alone?

Cate picked up her bag and left the locker room, carrying her Blackberry in her other hand. A minute later she felt it vibrate and heard Danny’s text tone.

[6:40 pm] Yep. Bring Dinner.

She grinned. Danny could always read her mind, even when he wasn’t right there beside her. What would I do without him?

Cate left the Center and drove toward Danny’s house, stopping briefly at their favorite Chinese place to pick up garlic chicken and fried rice.

Danny’s small cottage was also on the ocean, just a few miles away from Cate’s home. She pulled into the drive and parked behind his truck. She didn’t go to the front door, but instead punched a code into the garage door keypad and ducked under the door as it rose.

Cate paused to grab two bottles of Miller Genuine Draft from the well-stocked beer fridge in Danny’s garage, grimacing at the huge, framed Brett Favre poster hanging beside the appliance. Pecker Fan. She climbed the two steps to the door and walked into Danny’s kitchen.

Danny was in the adjoining living room, slouched on his leather couch, his feet propped on the coffee table, ESPN on his huge flatscreen TV. He raised his hand in silent greeting as Cate dropped the bag of food on the island and pulled the bottle opener from a drawer.

She quickly popped the caps off the beer bottles, then carried them into the living room. She handed one to Danny then flopped down on the couch beside him. “Cheers.” Danny said, tipping his bottle toward Cate.

“Cheers,” she answered, clinking the neck of her beer bottle against his. They both drank, then stared at the TV in silence for a few minutes. When a commercial came on, Danny turned his head to look at Cate. “So, I take it today was a better day than yesterday?” He gave her a little smile.

Cate nodded and took another drink of her beer, then smiled. “Yeah. Much better. I wasn’t a bitch today.”

“Good girl.” Danny grinned. He didn’t press for details, knowing Cate would tell him when she felt like it. “What did you bring me for dinner?”

“China Garden.” Cate answered. “Your favorite.”

“That’s why I love ya, Slick,” Danny grinned. “C’mon. Let’s eat!” He rose from the couch and headed for the kitchen. Cate followed.

They sat together on the barstools at the kitchen island, enjoying the food and chatting about Danny’s day on the range with the students. After they finished, Cate helped tidy up the kitchen, then they retired again to the couch with fresh beers in hand.

As Danny flipped through the channels with the remote, Cate’s Blackberry sang out a snippet of “Blaze of Glory,” announcing a call from Mandy.

“Hey girl.” Cate said, putting Mandy on speaker phone.

“Hola, Chica!” Mandy replied. “Whatcha up to?”

“Hanging out with Danny, watching the tube.” Cate answered. Danny called out his “howdy” to Mandy and she returned his greeting. “How about you?”

“Still at the office. Doing night crime scenes tonight.” Mandy took great pride in creating realistic training scenarios for her students. She made them practice collecting and processing evidence in all kinds of environments – dark, light, hot, cold, wet, dry. “Hey, just wanted to let you know you’re spending Saturday morning with me. I made spa appointments for us.”

“What?” Cate was surprised. “Why?” She didn’t notice Danny’s conspiratorial smirk as he brought his beer bottle to his lips.

After plotting with Jon to set up Cate’s surprise, Danny had enlisted Mandy’s help. Mandy knew Danny and Cate had their annual “Independence Day” date planned for Saturday, so he hadn’t had to reveal his true motive.

“Because. Aren’t you and Danny doing “Independence Day” Saturday night?” Mandy asked. “You need a spa day to prepare for your Big Date!” Cate could hear the grin in her friend’s voice.

Cate was puzzled. “Yeah, but it’s not a big thing….it’s just dinner with Danny…”

Danny cut her off. “Gee, thanks Slick!” he said, giving Cate a faux-wounded look. “It’s just Danny…” he mimicked.

He heard Mandy laughing on the other end of the line. “Jeez, would it kill ya to look like a girl when you and I go somewhere together?" he continued. "I’m always your arm-candy….is it too much to ask that you be mine, just one time?” Danny raised his eyebrows at Cate, half-teasing but partly serious. “Christ, wear a dress or something for once! You do have one, don’t you?”

“Yes, I have a dress,” Cate retorted, rolling her eyes. “I just didn’t think I had to go through all that shit anymore. Especially not for you. You’re like my brother, for Christ’s sake.”

She saw Danny give her a serious look, and she sighed. “Okay. For you.”

“Great. Our appointment is at ten.” Mandy said. “C’mon, Cate, it will be fun! When do we ever have time to be girly anymore? We can talk about boys!” she teased. “Ooh, and you can tell me all about your week with Hot Jonny! By the way, why haven’t you let me meet him yet?”

Cate laughed. “Sorry, things have been a bit…crazy.” She smacked Danny’s arm as he gave her a look that said “NO SHIT!” “I’m having him do raid houses tomorrow with Bobby’s class. Wanna come watch?”

“Oh HELL yes!” Mandy answered. “What time?”

Mandy and Cate talked for a few more minutes, making plans for her to meet Jon Friday afternoon. They chatted briefly about work and their Saturday plans, then Mandy had to go prepare for her evening class.

After disconnecting the call, Cate set her Blackberry on the coffee table and looked at Danny. “A dress?” she asked. “Seriously?”

“Yep.” Danny answered. “Hey, it’s been awhile since I’ve been out on the town with a hot chick. I have a reputation to uphold.” He took a swallow of beer then gave her a wicked grin. “And I guess you’ll do in a pinch.”

“Ass.” Cate grabbed the throw pillow and smacked Danny in the face with it. He laughed and threw it back at her, then turned his attention to the TV. After flipping through a few channels he found a baseball game on WGN – Cate’s Cubs vs. Reds – and set the remote aside.

“Sooooo… how’s Jon?” he asked softly, watching her out of the corner of his eye. He saw a smile come to Cate’s lips.

“Fine. Good,” she answered quietly. “We did FATS today.”

“Didn’t kick his ass or jump on him or anything?” Danny asked.

“No.” She looked at Danny. “It was good.” She quickly recounted the afternoon’s activity, a smile in her voice.

“So what was in the bag?” Danny asked. He had been wondering about that all day.

“Huh?” Cate was caught off guard. “Oh, you mean the gift bag?” Her face broke into a radiant smile. “Just a little ‘peace offering.’ To make up for our showdown last night.” She looked at Danny, her eyes shining. “He gave me his Soul jersey.”

“Another one? Jeez, Cate, you already have two of them. What’s the big deal?” Danny cocked his head to the side.

“Not a number 3 jersey… his jersey. His D’Orazio jersey. One he wore.” Cate got a dreamy look in her eyes.

“Oh, Jesus…” Danny groaned. “It’s gonna be the Sambora Stetson all over again, ain’t it?” he teased. Cate wore that damned hat every day for months after she got it.

Cate giggled. “Probably.” But you won’t see it…this one is ALL for me. She was going to sleep in the jersey every night, letting it caress her body and bring her sweet dreams of Jon.

Danny watched Cate as she slipped away in her mind for a moment. He knew that look, and he hadn’t seen it for a long time. He waited quietly until she came back. “So…?” he asked gently.

Cate looked at Danny, hearing the unspoken question in his voice. “So, nothing,” she sighed. “He asked me to have dinner with him tonight, but I told him no. In fact, I lied to him and told him I had plans.” She gave Danny a pointed look. “So you are my plans, okay?”

“That’s just sad.” Danny remarked. “Why didn’t you go with him? It’s just dinner, for Christ’s sake. You had lunch with him today.”

“That’s different.” Cate answered. “I had lunch with the guys…him included. Dinner would be just him and me… alone.”

“What’s the big deal?” Danny knew the answer but he wanted to make her say it.

When she didn’t reply, he shook his head. “I don’t get you, Cate. Here you are in a situation you’ve dreamed about for years… hell, decades. The man of your dreams is here with you, and he wants you. Why don’t you just give in, jump his bones, have crazy hot sex with the Rock Star, just like you’ve always fantasized?”

He saw a hint of fear creep into Cate’s eyes. Uh oh. He quickly lightened the moment with a tease. “I mean, shit…King of Swing has to be about worn out by now, right?” He gave her an evil grin.

“DANNY!” Cate exclaimed, her eyes widening and cheeks reddening at Danny’s mention of her vibrator’s nickname. “JESUS, is NOTHING sacred!?!?” she sputtered. She knew the answer even as she asked, hearing Danny’s hearty laugh at her reaction.

She couldn’t help but grin herself at the memory of the practical joke Danny and Mandy had pulled on her last year. In a particularly inspired retaliatory prank, they had snuck into Cate’s house and stolen her at-the-time-unnamed vibrator from her underwear drawer. She hadn’t noticed, not having an immediate need for the personal appliance.

The next morning at work she found an envelope on her desk, containing a Polaroid of the device next to an edition of that day’s newspaper. The “kidnappers” had decked out the rather substantially-sized vibrator in a little black hat with attached brown hair, a tiny pair of sunglasses, and several little charms on black cords around its “neck.”

Also enclosed in the envelope was a ransom note composed of words and letters cut from a magazine, instructing that her “King of Swing” would be safely and discretely returned upon payment of two cases of beer and a bottle of premium whiskey. Cate had promptly paid up and retrieved her property. She was still trying to figure out how to get even.

Danny shook his head again as his laughter subsided. He gave her a kind smile. “Look. All I’m saying is this. As I see it, you can go with it and let it happen, then have the memory of a lifetime, or spend the rest of your life kicking yourself for not bedding Jon Bon Jovi when you had the chance.” He watched as Cate thought about that for a moment, her smile turning bittersweet.

“I can’t, Danny.” her voice was soft and filled with regret. “God knows I want to, but I can’t.”

She took a deep breath, then started to talk. She told Danny what had happened in the storage room when she measured Jon for his vest, how the sexual tension between them was palpable. She told him about Jon’s whispered good night in her office, when he had traced her tattoo.

Cate told Danny about the kiss during DTs, and admitted that she had hardly been able to contain her desire on the range, as he had so astutely observed. She confessed the closeness she had felt to Jon today, and how the little touches and looks they shared made her heart sing. And she admitted that she had turned down Jon’s dinner invitation because she didn’t trust herself to be alone with him outside the safe haven of work.

Cate felt like she should be saying “Hail Mary” as she poured out her heart to Danny. Bless me Father, for I am trying really hard not to sin…..

Danny listened silently, letting Cate unburden herself. When she was done, he saw tears glitter in her eyes.

Danny reached over to Cate, putting his arm around her shoulders and pulling her closer to him. She sighed and leaned sideways, letting her head fall onto his lap. She lay there for a long minute, staring at the TV but not seeing the baseball game as Danny stroked her hair.

Finally she found her voice again. “Danny, I’m already in too deep. I can’t let this go any further.” She felt a tear leak from her eye and trickle down the side of her face. “It will break my heart when he leaves me and never looks back.”

Danny sighed softly. “Cate…do you really feel something for him? Not just physical attraction, but in your heart?”

“Yes,” she whispered.

“Then trust your heart, Cate,” he said gently.

“I can’t…” Cate choked on the words as her tears came. “It lies.”

Danny felt a lump come to his throat at her anguish. He didn’t answer her, knowing that she didn’t want him to say anything right now. He continued to stroke her hair as she lay in his lap, until her tears subsided.

After a good five minutes, Danny brushed the last tear from Cate’s cheek, then gently touched her chin, turning her face upward to look at him. “Hey,” he said gently, giving her an earnest smile. “There is nothing about you… nothing… that lies. You are the most honest, genuine, real person I know.”

He took in her sad smile, then continued. “Now, lighten up and get laid, already!” Danny grinned as Cate started to laugh, her moist eyes glittering. Danny leaned down and kissed her forehead.

Cate reached up and laid her hand against Danny’s cheek. “Thanks, Slick,” she said softly.

“Anytime, Babe.” Danny grinned. Cate turned her face back to the TV and stayed on Danny’s lap, the two of them watching the remainder of the inning in silence. At the commercial, Cate sat up, gave Danny a kiss on the cheek, then rose from the couch. Danny stood and followed her into the kitchen.

“See ya tomorrow,” Cate said, pausing by the door.

“Count on it.” Danny wrapped her in a big hug. “Think about it, Cate.”

“I will,” she promised. Hell, he’s ALL I can think about….

After one more hug, Cate left Danny’s house and made the short drive home. Once there, she took care of a couple minor things then snuggled on the couch with Jovi as she watched the end of the Cubs game.

After the game was over, she went into her bedroom and stripped off her clothes. She pulled Jon’s jersey – that’s how she thought of it, though it was now hers – from the gift bag and slipped it over her head. She closed her eyes as she caught the scent of his cologne on the soft fabric as it slithered down her body.

She walked out on to her balcony, relishing the feel of the slick material caressing her skin as she moved. She leaned against the railing, lightly fingering the other gift Jon had given her, the silver cross that still hung around her neck. Cate gazed out at the ocean, thinking about what Danny had said and reliving her day with Jon.

Finally she smiled wistfully and shook her head at herself. She still had no answers. All she could do was take this one day at a time. She walked back into her bedroom and crawled into bed.