Chapter 102 - Superman Tonight

Cate drew in a breath as her eyes widened and her body tensed slightly. Jon saw her hesitation as her thoughts swirled, mirrored in her eyes.

“Baby, please…” he breathed. “I need to feel you beside me. I… I can’t sleep in that bed alone.”

Cate’s heart melted as she watched Jon’s indigo eyes moisten. Her soul ached at the earnestness in his voice, his whispered plea wrapping around her heart. The need in his gaze took her breath away.

Cate nodded silently, wanting nothing more than to comfort him, to let him comfort her. Because the truth was, she needed him too.

Jon’s lips curled into a smile at her agreement. He lifted his head from her shoulder and pulled back slightly. Cate turned in Jon’s arms and raised her face to his, accepting his kiss. When their lips parted she lowered her cheek to his chest as his arms enfolded her, pulling her tight against his body.

“I don’t want to spend another minute away from you,” Jon said softly, dropping his chin to rest on her head.

Cate winced slightly at his words. But in just a few days you’ll be gone….

She stood silent for a minute, listening to Jon’s heartbeat as she struggled with herself, trying to decide what to do, how to respond. Her arms tightened around his waist as her mind raced, trying to formulate a strategy to defend her heart against the pain she knew was inevitably coming. She needed to think – really think – about her relationship with Jon. But she just couldn’t bring herself to leave him tonight.

Cate took a deep breath, then raised her cheek from Jon’s chest. She turned her face to his, giving him an earnest look. When she spoke, her voice was soft and melancholy. “Jon, I don’t want to spend another minute away from you, either,” she admitted. “I want to be with you every second you have left here… when you’re not training, I mean.”

She paused and took another breath, hoping her next words would come out right. “But if I’m going to do that, you have to promise me something. Promise, Jon. And stick to it. No shit, no games.”

A shadow of fear flickered across Jon’s face. “What?” he asked huskily.

“We can’t talk about the future. As far as we’re concerned, Friday is the end of time. We’ll enjoy each other until it’s time for you to go, then we’ll both walk away with no regrets.” Cate paused and gave Jon a searching look. “Jon…. please understand. That’s the only way I can do this. I have to put that wall up, otherwise I’ll spend the next three days being afraid… afraid of how awful it’s going to be to wake up Saturday morning and find you gone.” Cate’s eyes glittered in the dim light as tears formed at their corners.

Jon’s heart ached at the sight of her tears. He didn’t want to just have three more days with Cate. He wanted three more lifetimes. But he couldn’t bear the thought of being without her tonight, or tomorrow, or the next day. He had to agree to her request, to give her soul peace and her heart confidence, so she would give him a chance to change her mind. To prove to her that the world wouldn’t stop on Friday, that their story was just beginning.

Jon nodded slowly. “Okay,” he whispered. “Promise.”

Cate smiled gratefully, then again dropped her cheek against his chest as she hugged him. “Thank you,” she said softly.

Jon held Cate tight for another minute, then she pulled back and sighed. “Can we please go home? It’s been one helluva long day,” she asked wearily.

Jon chuckled. “Yeah, it has at that. A long, awful, wonderful day.” He released Cate from his embrace, and together they moved over to the lockers.

They retrieved their now-soaked garments from the tile floor where they had tossed them with abandon earlier in the evening then dressed in the only clean clothing they each still had, PT uniforms from their lockers.

After tidying the room and retrieving her gun, gear, iPod and toiletry bag, Cate returned to her office to shut down her computer and lock her door. Jon followed her and waited while she performed her tasks, then took her hand as they journeyed down the hall to the exit. He smiled happily as he realized the day was ending as he had hoped when he had arrived on the Center nearly 17 hours ago.

It was a hard day’s work, but it was worth it. Cate was coming home with him.

*****

By the time Cate guided her Mustang into the villa’s drive behind Jon’s rental, she was exhausted. The adrenaline and emotion and passion of the evening had left her thoroughly and completely drained. She yearned for nothing more than to crawl into that gigantic, soft bed and curl into Jon’s arms. And to sleep for days.

Glancing toward the clock on her dashboard display, she realized that she might get to sleep for about six hours, rather than for days. But she would take what she could get.

Jon helped her from her car and took her range bag from her hand, then led her to the door. Cate couldn’t stifle a yawn as Jon unlocked the heavy door, then ushered her inside. He turned the lock behind them, tossed the key on the hall table, then took Cate’s hand and led her directly to the bedroom.

Cate groaned in welcome anticipation at the sight of the bed. She couldn’t wait to slide beneath those soft blue sheets and close her eyes. She chuckled slightly to herself at the realization that she was about to climb into a bed with Jon Bon Jovi, and she was looking forward to sleeping. Never in a thousand lifetimes would she have dreamed she would have that thought. At least not before tonight.

Jon gave her an amused look at the sound of her quiet little laugh. “What?” he asked.

“Oh, nothing,” Cate sighed. “I’m just getting a little loopy. I seriously need some sleep.”

Jon smiled and dropped Cate’s bag on the bench at the end of the bed, then moved to the night stand to set his Blackberry next to the clock radio and hotel phone. “Then what are you waiting for?” he asked gently. “Let’s get you to bed, sleepyhead.”

Cate nodded and toed off her cross-trainers, kicking them under the bench, as Jon moved over to the wall to turn off the light mounted on the ceiling fan. She yawned again as she stood first on one leg, then the other, to pull off her socks. Then she watched amusedly as Jon tackled the mountain of pillows on the bed, flinging them onto the floor with a mumbled curse. Cate sighed as Jon turned back the covers, revealing the whisper-soft cotton sheets.

Jon stepped over to flick off the bedside lamp that was the room’s sole remaining light, then moved to Cate. His hands went to the hem of her t-shirt, and he drew it upward as Cate raised her arms. Jon pulled the shirt up over her head and off her body, then dropped it to the floor. He gently removed her sports bra and tossed it aside, then knelt to slide Cate’s track pants and panties down her legs. She stepped out of the garments and stood still, awaiting his further guidance.

Sliding his hands gently up the outsides of Cate’s thighs and up over her hips, Jon rose to his feet then dropped a gentle kiss on her mouth. He stepped back and quickly shed his clothes, leaving the garments in a pile on the floor with hers. Then he stepped forward again and pulled Cate’s body against his. She sighed at the feel of his skin against hers and snuggled her cheek against his chest. Jon smiled as he drew in the scent of her hair and relished the warmth of her body against his.

“C’mon, Baby,” he whispered after a long minute. “Bedtime.” Jon stepped back and turned to the bed, lifting the covers for her. Cate nodded and climbed onto the mattress, groaning contentedly as she slipped between the sheets.

Jon waited until she was settled then rounded the bed and slid under the covers. He reclined back against the pillows in the middle of the huge mattress, then opened his arms to Cate. She moved over to him, tucking her shoulder beneath his arm as she molded her body to his. Cate lay her head on Jon’s chest as she hooked her leg around his and slipped her arm across his torso. She smiled and hummed contentedly as Jon’s arm tightened around her and his other hand settled on top of hers, resting on his chest.

God, this feels so right, Jon thought as he savored the feel of Cate’s body wrapped around his. He pressed a kiss against the top of her head as his fingers lightly stroked the back of her hand. “Cate…” he murmured softly.

“Hmm?” she answered sleepily.

“Can I ask you something?” Jon’s voice was gentle, barely above a whisper. “It’s not about the future,” he added quickly. “It’s about the past.” He felt Cate’s eyelashes flutter against his skin as she opened her eyes in response to his comment.

“Yeah, I guess so,” she replied hesitantly.

Jon took a deep breath. He didn’t want to upset Cate, especially now that she was finally here with him. But he needed to know. “What… what made you run away from me, the other night? Monday morning?” He swallowed hard. “Did I do something wrong?”

Cate’s heart squeezed at the hurt in Jon’s voice. God, how could he think that was his fault? In her panic to escape after her nightmare, she had seen Jon’s helpless expression. But it hadn’t occurred to her until now that he thought he was to blame for her flight. “No. God, no, Jon,” she replied gently. “That wasn’t your fault.”

“What wasn’t my fault? Will you tell me? Please?” he responded, his voice a little huskier.

Cate hesitated, then closed her eyes. She could tell him. She was safe here in his arms. And she had come to terms with her emotions, her little voice, her damned vengeful psyche. At least for tonight.

Grateful for the cover of darkness, she answered him in a whisper. “I… it sounds silly, I know, but…. I had a nightmare. A terrible, horrible nightmare.”

Jon’s arm tightened around Cate as he instinctively pulled her closer, wanting to protect her. “That’s not silly. Night terrors can be awful things. I’ve had them myself,” he replied understandingly. “What was the nightmare about?” He felt Cate tense against his body. “It was about me, wasn’t it?” he asked quietly.

Cate drew in a deep breath. “Yes,” she whispered.

“I hurt you. In the dream,” Jon pressed gently, feeling heartsick at the thought.

Cate nodded against Jon’s chest. “Yes,” she replied huskily. “You… you were making love to another woman. Here. In this bed.” She took another deep breath, then realized she wanted, needed to continue. “I was sitting in the corner, watching. You knew I was there. The woman saw me and asked who I was. You…” Cate’s voice cracked. “You told her to ignore me. That I’d go away.”

Jon winced and closed his eyes as the pain in Cate’s voice stabbed through his heart like a knife. He drew in a breath to respond, but sensed there was more. He held his tongue, hoping Cate would continue, that she would further unburden herself to him.

Cate shivered slightly at the memory of what happened next. “Then I… I looked down, and saw my gun in my hand… and….” She swallowed hard. “And the blood….”

That was too much for Jon to bear, the thought of Cate hurting herself because of him. “Oh, Baby…” he said, his own words cracked with emotion as he shifted to wrap both arms around Cate, hugging her fiercely. “Christ, I’m so sorry….”

Even though it had just been a dream, Jon felt like he had actually caused her that terrible anguish. He held her tight for several minutes, then again found his voice. “Cate, I would never do something like that to you. I couldn’t hurt you like that….”

“I know,” Cate answered gently. Her voice was calm and soft. She felt a wave of relief wash over her in response to her confession. “I don’t blame you, Jon. It wasn’t your fault. It was me…. my doubts, my fears. Things I have to work out for myself.”

She drew in another deep breath. “But I woke up here, and realized that I had crossed a line by making love with you. I panicked. I didn’t know what to do. I just knew I couldn’t let you see me like that. I had to get away.” She paused again. “I’m sorry if I hurt you, Jon. I didn’t mean to.”

“That’s why you pushed me away on Monday… why you said we made a mistake,” Jon’s voice was gentle and even, his composure recovered. “Not because of the dream, but because of what it represented. That you’re afraid I’m going to leave you for another woman.”

“Yes,” Cate whispered, a lump rising in her throat.

Jon was silent for a moment, then moved his hand to stroke Cate’s cheek. He gently pressed a finger under her chin, urging her to raise her face to his. She complied, and Jon touched his lips to hers. His kiss was heartbreakingly tender, filled with promise and comfort.

“Cate…” Jon stopped, realizing that what he was going to say would violate the promise he had made to her, to not talk about the future. “It… it was a dream,” he continued hesitantly, quickly shifting course. “Just a dream.”

He wrapped his arms around her again and hugged her tight. “And it’s over. No more nightmares. Tonight, the only dreams you’re gonna have are happy ones. I’m gonna make sure of it.” Jon's gentle voice steadied and strengthened as he made the vow.

Cate couldn’t help but chuckle at Jon’s response. “How are you gonna do that?” she asked softly, her smile evident in her voice. “You really think you can control my dreams?”

“Yes,” he replied firmly. “No bad dreams allowed inside these arms.” He hugged her tightly again.

Cate chuckled again. If Jon hadn’t been so earnest in his declaration, it would have sounded corny, like he was reciting a lyric from one of his songs. But she had no doubt from his tone that he honestly believed he could protect her from her own demons.

“Okay, Superman,” she whispered gently. She nestled against Jon’s warm chest and closed her eyes, letting his heartbeat lull her toward sleep. “I’ll let you protect me.”

Jon smiled at her comment. “I’ll be your Superman, Baby,” he whispered in reply. “As long as you’ll let me.” He dropped a gentle kiss into Cate’s hair then closed his eyes, drifting off with her safe in the strong circle of his arms.