Chapter 73 - The Way We Were



Cate didn’t notice when Jon appeared in the doorway to her office. She was staring out the window, not seeing the scene outside.

She had spent most of the morning struggling to concentrate on the paperwork she had to do, but she just couldn’t focus. She was dreading the task before her, and she found herself imagining the conversation between Jon and herself, over and over, each scenario a little different.

Jon leaned against the door frame, watching her. His heart twinged at the sadness in her eyes. But her forlorn expression gave him a flicker of hope, that maybe she would change her mind and not go through with her plan.

Jon reminded himself that he couldn’t let on that he knew what Cate had done after leaving his bed. Seeing the look on Cate’s face, Jon was grateful that Danny had forewarned him. This was going to be painful, even with his opportunity to prepare.

“Hey, you,” Jon said brightly. He gave Cate a dazzling smile as she turned her head to look at him. He felt another little stab in his heart as he looked into her tired eyes.

Cate gave Jon a small smile in return. “Hey,” she answered quietly. Her heart squeezed. He was as gorgeous as ever, in faded jeans and a plain, silvery-gray t-shirt.

Jon pushed away from the door frame and walked over to Cate’s desk. He settled on its corner and gazed down at her as she leaned back in her chair. “I was worried about you this morning,” he said softly, dropping his voice to a discrete murmur. “Is everything okay?”

His heart sank as he saw Cate’s eyes narrow, her defenses going up. Her eyes were flat, a slate gray rather than the swirling, sparkling blue that so intrigued him.

“I’m fine,” Cate lied. “I just… I needed to go home for a few hours before work, to give myself a chance to get things together, to get ready. You know I wasn’t home much this weekend.”

Jon paused for a moment. Go with it, he reminded himself. He gave Cate a knowing little smile. “Yeah, I know,” he replied. He leaned toward her, his hand moving to the back pocket of his jeans. “By the way, you forgot these,” he whispered, pulling Cate’s black panties from his pocket and holding them out to her. He gave her a little grin.

Cate’s eyes widened slightly and she grabbed the panties from Jon’s hand. “Um… thanks,” she mumbled, pulling out her desk drawer and stuffing the undies inside, then sliding it quickly shut. Her face colored slightly. She shot a nervous glance to her open office door, hoping no one had witnessed the exchange.

Jon chuckled. “Listen, I know we have to keep this quiet, but I just wanted to say…” He gave her a direct look. “Last night was incredible. I hope it was for you, too.” His voice was just above a whisper, husky and intimate.

Cate stared back at him. “I… I had a really good time,” she replied carefully, struggling to keep her emotions in check.

Jon frowned slightly, allowing a puzzled, slightly hurt expression to creep across his face. “Cate… are you having morning after regrets? Is that why you left so early?” He was sure the answer was “no,” but he wanted to give her an out, an excuse to re-evaluate her feelings and change her mind about walking away from him.

Cate shook her head, looking away from Jon’s gorgeous face and those damned hypnotic eyes. “No,” she sighed. “That’s not it.” Damn. May as well get it over with now.

She looked again toward her office door, then pushed herself up from her chair. She slipped past Jon and walked over to the door, closing it to give them privacy. He shifted on her desk, turning his body toward hers.

Turning to face him, Cate sank back against the door and took a deep breath. Then she raised her eyes to meet his. “Listen, Jon.” Her voice was gentle, trying to lessen the blow of what she was about to say. “I had an amazing time with you this weekend. Truly. It was the most extraordinary, romantic, magical weekend of my life.” She sighed. “And for that, I thank you. I will never, ever, ever forget it, as long as I live.”

She gave him a sad little smile as her voice softened even more. “And yes, last night was…heavenly. It was… it was like a dream come true.” She blushed slightly and looked down at the floor. Hell, it was my fantasy come to life.

Jon closed his eyes for a brief moment, steeling himself for what he knew was coming. Though Cate’s voice was gentle, he knew her words would stab him like a dagger. He took a deep breath and opened his eyes, fixing them on Cate, preparing to respond as he had rehearsed.

Cate paused for a long moment and looked back up at Jon. “I’m sorry, Jon, but I can’t continue to see you like… that. It was wrong of me. I was way out of line to become so… intimate… with you.” She drew in a deep breath, willing her voice not to waver as the lump rose in her throat. “I never should have let things go as far as they did. From now on, we have to maintain a professional relationship. Just a professional relationship. Instructor and student.” She swallowed hard. “We have to go back to the way things were.”

“No,” Jon answered quietly. “I can’t do that, Cate.” He gave her a long look. “I told you how I feel about you. I don’t want to have just a professional relationship with you, though I understand that we have to keep it quiet. Really quiet. That’s fine with me.” Jon paused, giving her the opportunity to cut in.

She remained silent, so he continued. “Cate, I mean it when I say I want us to continue to see each other after this week. I want to come back here to see you, to fly you out to California or Jersey or wherever. Honest to God. We can figure out some way to make it work.” Emotion crept into his voice as Jon spoke. He suppressed his urge to stride over to Cate, pull her into his arms, and kiss her until she believed him.

Cate sighed. “Jon, I know you think you mean it when you say all those wonderful things. You’re having a good time here, you like being part of the gang, part of this world. I'm just part of the package." She paused and swallowed hard before continuing on. "You said yourself that you like how I make you feel. But Jon, when you leave here, that feeling is gonna go away. You’re gonna move on. Without me.” Cate's voice was level, soft, and steady. She was grateful that she was able to control her voice, because inside her heart was throbbing miserably.

Jon shook his head. “You’re wrong,” he replied. “And I’m gonna prove it to you. I’m not gonna let you push me away, Cate. I can’t.” He fixed her with an intense gaze. Cate knew that look. It was the same one he had given her when they had faced off in DTs and on the range. The look that said “end of discussion.”

Cate drew in a breath, steeling her resolve. “Well, then, that’s gonna be a problem. Because if you can’t detach yourself from your feelings, I can’t be your instructor.” She stared back at Jon, matching his look. “You have a lot left to learn, and if you can’t focus because I’m the one teaching you, then that’s not fair to either of us. I can ask Floyd to assign you another instructor. Maybe Danny.”

Jon blinked at her. He hadn’t expected this. “No,” he replied firmly, after a moment. “I want you to continue training me. You’re the best instructor here, Floyd says so himself.” He took a deep breath. “I’m a professional, too. I can handle it.”

“Okay.” Cate answered, secretly relieved. “Good.”

“But Cate, when we’re not working, I’m still gonna try to change your mind,” Jon warned her softly.

Cate let out a sad little chuckle. “Of course you are,” she said, a bit snarkily. You wouldn’t be Jon Bon Jovi if you didn’t fight to get your way. “But you won’t succeed. I’m sorry, but my mind’s made up.”

Jon bit back his response, fighting the urge to challenge her further. Don’t piss her off, he reminded himself, recalling Danny’s warning. “If you say so,” he finally answered, keeping his voice as neutral as he could. He gave her a sad little smile. “But I’m sorry, too.”

Cate nodded and sighed again. “Okay, let’s go get some lunch, then I need to deliver you to the track for your driving lesson.” She gave Jon a weak smile. “Hope this didn’t dampen your enthusiasm for the driving course. I know you were looking forward to it.”

“Nah,” Jon replied, though inside his soul ached. “I’m sure I’ll still have a blast.” He gave her a genuine smile. “Besides, I have faith.”

“Faith? In what?” Cate asked. She knew his answer before the words were off her lips.

“In you,” Jon answered simply.

Cate felt her heart flip at the look of longing Jon gave her, but she forced herself not to reply. She pulled open the door and nodded to the hall. “C’mon.” she said to Jon.

With another little smile, Jon stood and followed her out of the office.

5 comments:

  1. Sooo the battle has began.....
    Bring on the fireworks!!

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  2. Oooh I think I had a little tear in my eye reading this, bring on the persuasive Jonny!

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  3. OK, that does it I'm coming down to bitch slap her till she comes to her senses.

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  4. still say she is knee deep in neurosis. Grown adult woman do not act this way especially one who is "living in a mans world" (aren't we all??) More reason to act sane and rational and not like an adolescent who finds out she's not getting a puppy for her birthday. I still want Jon to say you know what your right, you aren't good enough for me, I've been through a divorce, been under the stress of being in the public eye since I was barely out of my teens, just lost my football francise, been shot the the heart and Diane Lane's the blame,yada yada yada and I am still capable of making adult decisions without curling up in the fetal postion because I'm scared, seeya!!! Mostly though I want them to be together so overcome the obstacles already, geezzz

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  5. Well finally caught up and DAMN what a rollercoaster ride you've had me on. Not sure if I'm on my head or my arse lol.

    I'm glad Danny warned Jon, and I do wonder at her verhment denile that she's done with him.

    Honey I don't think you're going to get much of a say. Jon's going to do his damndest to make it work.

    More Ms Catte MWAH

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